What's Your Funny Name?

The following is an excerpt from the children's book " Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants " by Dave Pilkey. The evil professor forces everyone to assume new names. Follow the instructions to find your new name. (Example: George Washington - "O" is Goober and "A" is Apple + "H" is shorts = Goober Appleshorts).

Find your new first name		Find your new last name
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name		Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name		Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name
A	POOPSIE	A	APPLE	A	HEAD
B	LUMPY	B	TOILET	B	MOUTH
C	SNOTTY	C	GIGGLE	C	FACE
D	GIDGET	D	BURGER	D	NOSE
E	CRUSTY	E	GIRDLE	E	TUSH
F	GREASY	F	BARF	F	BREATH
G	FLUFFY	G	LIZARD	G	PANTS
H	CHEESEBALL	H	WAFFLE	H	SHORTS
I	CHIM-CHIM	I	COOTIE	I	LIPS
J	STINKY	J	MONKEY	J	HONKER
K	FLUNKY	K	POTTY	K	BUTT
L	BOOBIE	L	LIVER	L	BRAIN
M	PINKY	M	BANANA	M	TUSHIE
N	ZIPPY	N	RHINO	N	CHUNKS
O	GOOBER	O	BUBBLE	O	HINEY
P	DOOFUS	P	HAMSTER	P	BISCUITS
Q	SLIMY	Q	TOAD	Q	TOE
R	LOOPY	R	CHUCKLE	R	BUNS
S	BUTTERCUP	S	PIZZA	S	FANNY
T	TULEFEL	T	GERBIL	T	SNIFFER
U	DORKEY	U	CHICKEN	U	SPRINKLES
V	SQUEEZIT	V	PICKLE	V	KISSER
W	OPRAH	W	GIZZARD	W	SQUIRT
X	SKIPPER	X	TOFU	X	HUMPERDINK
Y	DINKY	Y	GORILLA	Y	BRAINS
Z	ZSA-ZSA	Z	STINKER	Z	JUICE